Finally it has come; the special time of the year when we see the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s that season when love is betrayed and lost by some while others gain it. It is the season of love, both genuine and fake ones. The truth is that St. Valentine’s Day is here again.
St Valentine was a man known for his love and affection for the down-trodden in the society. He was a man who lived for the less privileged. The love we read about him is completely different from what we see and practice today.
I believe that housewives are getting ready and prepared for their husbands. Some are prepared to stage a fight with that girl next door because they must have their husband to themselves this season. Some very troublesome wives have suddenly turned to saints all because of Valentine.
The men are not left out as they are playing their game very well. Some have willingly asked their bosses to send them on an official assignment next week just because they must have a swell time with their girl. Even those doing their own private thing are looking for ways to create troubles that don’t exist. They are busy finding faults where there is none just because they don’t want to be tied down on that day; wives beware.
For the singles, this is a time when girls throw away very important relationships just for the fun of the moment. A lot of long-distance relationships will be lost this very season because it’s on a weekday, some employed persons won’t travel for Val and this gives some unfaithful ones the opportunity to catch a quick one.
This is supposed to be a season of love and happiness for everyone who is in love. This is supposed to be a season when genuine relationships are watered for better growth. This is supposed to be a season when husbands and wives look at their relationship and ask questions while talking to each other from the deepest part of their hearts. This is a season when parents should get closer to their children and show them love. This is a season when the forgotten and downtrodden are remembered. This is a season to give a hug to those who are unlovable.
The colour is red and so every shop is red in colour. Boutiques now have red dresses on their mannequins. People, especially ladies, are all over town shopping for that little red dress. Cards are on display everywhere. Gift shops are busy with very attractive packages and gifts ready to be delivered at your doorstep.
It is all good and I believe you should enjoy it. But while you are ready for the games and fun of Val, I want to ask you a question; what does Valentine’s Day mean to you? I have a second question; are you what you should be this Valentine?
The love you have suddenly started professing twenty times a day, is it for real? Sir, the flowers, cakes, chocolates, and cards you have ordered for madam, is she the only one getting them? What about you madam; how do you enjoy professing love to two different men at the same time? We are even feeling for you because oga is ready to travel to Accra and Obudu Ranch with his secretary or girlfriend, but there you are praying for him to travel and leave you to enjoy that small boy you got a flat for, even your driver.
As you are there spending his money on the small boy and foolishly giving your body to him, the boy is there transferring your wealth to a young girl who knows about your relationship with him, but won’t talk because you are just their ATM. The small boy gets from you while his girl gets from her own ATM. In fact, Valentine’s Day is more of deceit and foolishness than real love. If you don’t agree with me, I want you to go into supermarkets and gift shops this week and watch how one woman buys the same Valentine card for five people or vice versa.
Enough of the deceivers and hypocrites wearing the faces of lovers; I want to talk to real lovers. Are you worried at this stage because you don’t know how to go about it and make her understand you love her? Are you worried because there is not money to buy her those beautiful gifts as usual? My dear, you don’t have to worry.
Yes, every woman wants to be pampered and spoilt by her man. Like Dr Uma Ukpai once said, every woman wants to be the best in everything. But you know what; if she truly loves you, she understands you. You don’t have to take your salary as IOU just because you must buy her a gift. You don’t have to start short-changing your customers because you must save enough money for a good restaurant. There is more to Valentine than the physical things.
If you have been good and transparent to her, she knows you. If she has been with you all these years and has gone through thick and thin with you, don’t stress yourself unnecessarily. A small pot of rice cooked without meat, but eaten in love and oneness satisfies than a house filled with everything good with deceit.
I believe that the best gift you can give to any real woman is the gift of your time. Men always make this mistake when they believe that with the gullible nature of a good number of women, all you have to do is make some good cash and get them suffocated with material things; it doesn’t always work that way because if it does, your wife won’t be going for your driver and other domestic staff.
Do you know that even when you have the money, she would appreciate some poems and handmade cards by you? You can make a card stating ten reasons you love her and will forever love her.
You can decide to serve her breakfast in bed on that day. You can switch duties and have her served by you throughout the day. You can choose to clean the interior of her car by yourself. There are flowers in the garden around you; you can get some good colourful ones and attach your handmade card to it and make sure she sees it the moment she opens her eyes in the morning. Do it like never before.
Ladies, you can decide not to be on the receiving end as usual this year. Get up and go look for something good for that man who you love or once loved; he deserves it.
If you have the money, you can decide to take her away to some good hotel where she gets to relax without the kids. Always remember that the kids were not there when you met her, she was first your wife and companion before she became their mother. You need to rekindle that fire again. Ladies, time has changed; no real man wants to have a woman pay the bills, but you can take care of it if he is in a fix.
Don’t forget the power of words. Even if you don’t know how to say it, you must have to learn and force yourself to say those beautiful words to your spouse. Just let your heart speak to him or her on that day. Be happy and decide not to be moved the next morning when your colleagues and friends start calling in to tell you how much their man spent on them. What you may never know is that in most cases, it is not that man you know; those things came in as a result of unfaithfulness.
Don’t forget the less privileged; that day was created for them. Your parents deserve some love from you; call them and say something nice to them. In everything you do this season, please don’t forget there is life after Valentine.
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