One does not get to see this crowd of liberal-minded people everyday, and a rather befuddled me snuggled up somewhere in the corner of the room listening, with mouth sometimes agape, to words that pretty much shake-up the very conservative belief and philosophy I had of sex. I am in the midst of eight women and four men, there are sex toys displayed, and everybody is relaxed, except me. However, as the group begins sharing experiences, I loosen up and there is an air of camaraderie amongst us. We have been ‘Pinkified’ by the Pink Mafia, led by Adunola Ajuwon.
Pink Mafia is designed to help Nigerians understand the concept of good sex, appreciate and explore it. But in a largely conservative society as Nigeria, I wondered how successful Adunola was going to be. She, however, does not entertain such fears.
Speaking with me after the Sex and Seduction tea party, Adunola pointed out that there was no myth or taboo behind sex.
“The truth is what happens to people during relationship and sex is not so alien, but they just need to say it out and let their partners hear about it,” she said
On how she delved into the world of sex and relationship consultancy, Adunola said she had always been interested in sex and the way it shapes people and relationships. Adunola, who studied Media and Cultural Studies for her First Degree, said she also found out that people really want to improve their sex lives, despite the social stigma surrounding open discussion on sex in Nigeria.
“I have always had an interest in the concept of touch and how people react to it, which is was why I studied aromatherapy. This came in useful when I began speaking to people about their sex lives, and as more people started coming to me, the private counselling session developed. During these sessions we would sit down, talk and analyse what is going on with their sex lives and how we could improve it,” she explained.
“My theoretical experience from university definitely made a big impact. It provided for me a clearer academic understanding of people and how they perceived sex from a cultural phenom. On the emotional side I can empathise with people because most of them just need a listening ear to help them decipher and help them understand what is going on in their lives.”
Adunola, who spoke passionately, declared that she “realised that there was a need for this service, not just for women but for men also in Nigeria”.
She said there was so much happening in the sex lives of several Nigerians and all that was necessary was for people to understand and explore their sexuality.
The head of the Pink Mafia, as she calls her organisation, said she decided to come out to the open when she found out that the number of people who had issues with their sex lives was extremely high, and she needed to let them know that there was someone professional they could talk to.
“In 2009 I officially registered Pink Mafia, and it was set up to be a network for women to connect and talk. However, I soon found out that again sex was a key subject raised, so in November 2011 I decided that 2012 would be when Pink Mafia would be known to one and all, so people know there is a place to come express themselves without judgement," she said.
"Sex is not taboo, there are very few things you can say that would shock me, there are very few things you can say that would make me judge you negatively regarding your sex life, but I will listen and help you find a way around that problem."
I asked Adunola how she would tackle the challenge of resistance that she would face from the larger populace who would not feel comfortable with her decision to openly discuss sex.
“It doesn’t matter to me how I am challenged or attacked, because there is nothing I am talking about that (people) don’t do. Sex is not a dirty thing” she said.
“It is something that everybody does. You practise it safely; you practise it with someone you care for ideally. But we know that does not always happen. People have sex with people they do not care about just for the sexual pleasure and fun of it. So I am not going to tell you that because of that you are the worst person in the world. No! More importantly, I believe that people have become more aware, that they determine the rules by which they want to live their lives, and with guidance they can have a fulfilling and fun sex life.”
With all said and done, Pink Mafia definitely brings a different perspective to how people discuss and see sex in Nigeria. If you want to find out more, you can join the next Sex and Seduction tea party on May 26.
For more information, contact Pink Mafia at adunola@pink-mafia.com.
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