I find this article interesting and educating especially to the singles who are trusting God for a life partner, this is also for every responsible, matured single ladies and men out there...
"I'm entering my fourth decade of existence in a few years time by God's grace.
Single.
Gainfully employed and living the life of God's favorite.
Will I get married?
Do I want to get married?
Yes! Yes!!
There's a 'BUT'.
I see marriage as a hearth and a home.
A place where one gets energy, encouragement and the boost to face life and conquer territories.
A place where I can take off, soar like an eagle,bring in my kills to nurture my family, where I can get warmth from, get energy and re-adjust my wings and takeoff for the next flight.
My base.
Not a place where I get drained of all
energies, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually,
No way!
I'll only and only get married when I meet a man who respects and appreciate my individuality.
His age isn't necessarily a factor.
Who sees my potentials and is ever ready to help and push me in harnessing them and who I'll do same for.
More below..........................
A man who isn't afraid or intimidated by my successes.
But rather celebrates me.
A man who isn't afraid that I might reach greater heights than him.
Who watches out for my best interest.
Who shields me, protects me.
Who tasks and engages my brain intellectually.
Yes, I want to know and be sure of what you are bringing to the table in this regard.
One who has been raised by a queen.
Note, I've not said anything about money.
I'll wrap that money aspect up by quoting one of my aunties;she said "Gloria,if I can buy a shoe and a bag at N18,000 by myself, then none should expect me to date or marry any man who will do less by me".
And I add to that If I a woman can fend, clothe, take care of my rent and general upkeep by myself, then I believe only the deep calleth out to the deep.
For me, those remain constant.
Other variables might change when you meet the one who complements you.You find yourself changing certain stances without being asked because you know you are in secured hands.
When you are in secured hands, you'll know.
Your guards won't be up and up...
Same goes for a man. Stop running after liabilities.
I'm not asking you to start hunting for ladies who are from well-to-do homes because that makes you a parasite.
Many times, 'friends' whom I've lost contact with will now see me on facebook, send request, we become fb friends and a particular one in recent times really pissed me off and I know I won't be chatting or speaking to her in a long time.
We started with pleasantries and the next thing I read from her is "are you married now or are you still doing sisi?"
I didn't answer, because if I do, I'll roundly insult her.
Another friend once said, "Ah, come and join this marriage thing quick ooo and you'll see what we go through"
I've heard and seen so much that I can write a book on it.
Many of those I know are married with kids and what 98% of them regale me with is what I don't wanna go through.
I know women who wish they never married their present husbands, same as men.
I know women/men who cheat on their husbands/wives very very well and I'm not exaggerating.
I know couples in loveless marriages.
I know couples who live under same roofs and haven't had sex in months/years.
Some even hate themselves after the sex.
Some are in abusive marriages.
You see some and you wonder why the misery on their faces.
And yes, some are having the mountain top experiences in their marriages.
They are enjoying their homes in the true sense.
There is no home without misunderstandin
So, misunderstandin
Yet in these altercations, you are well assured the covenant remains unshaken.
The foundation remains a solid.
These ones know the accounts of their marriages aren't in red.
They credit more than debit in the emotional bank.
But how many are they?
They are few!!!
Those are the ones who didn't WISH for a HAPPY marriage, they built the foundation, laid the stones and keep building a truly happy home.
Many wishes and that's why we have many crumbling and crumbled homes.
Wishes don't build a marriage.
You have to work at it and you shouldn't work amiss.
Many who are married automatically see themselves as authorities in common sense.You hear them talk and you just shake your head and walk away
Those ones build like children. Arrange a room now and bring in little children.The only way they play and have fun is to scatter.
That is how children are wired and that's how some marriages are..
That you are married doesn't mean you were a 'good' girl in your spinsterhood.
It doesn't mean you were the best girl around.
Even call girls get married.
'Runz' girls get married.
We are not in a competition.
It doesn't mean you will have the best marriage because you married earlier.
If you are not wise,a piece of jewelry won't confer wisdom on you.
Stop using marriage as a validation of your existence.
Stop regaling us when you walk into the saloon about how wonderful your husband is,you don't know maybe his girlfriend is also having her hair made at the same time in the same saloon.
Your husband is wonderful;thank
Single ladies,don't let anyone make you miserable because you are a spinster.
If you aren't happy as a single person,you'll only end up making the man miserable when you get married.
None owes you happiness.
Keep a distance away from those whose main job description is to make you feel miserable so that they can feel happy.
Be it family or old friends, keep them at bay.
There are no marriages in heaven and God hasn't promised the married ones a bigger halo when we get to heaven.
Be happy.
Be content.
Have harmless fun and I mean fun with the old school meaning.
Live your life!
Do what you enjoy doing.
Buy that car, landed properties you want to buy!
Any man who can't stand you because you are successful is the type of men that should NEVER come near you!
Don't even entertain such people.
Run!
If you can afford and buy that gold, buy it!
If you can afford that holiday, pack a bag and jet off and bask in that luxury.
You are responsible for you!
Biological clock?
Have you heard of IVF? Adoption?
And who told you you can only be a mother unless you are married? Who said marriage, even an abusive one produces mentally balanced children?
If biological clock is your problem, I've given you a way out.
Except if your problem is the white flowing dress.
Nothing is wrong in wearing that beautiful dream dress in reality.
I want one too.
But I won't sacrifice a happy,content,m
Biko,please,e jhoor,du Allah,wear it for the right reasons.
One other thing, what's wrong with those call centers operators who want to know if you are a 'Miss' or 'Mrs' when you call?
I asked an operator one day and he said they ask so as to know how to address me. So I asked, what happened to 'Ms'? What's with the tag?
Do you ask men such questions?
The operator must have wondered why this woman dey hala him like that.
Dear busybody 'friends',face your work like Uche.
Stop asking insensitive questions and stop giving unsolicited advice.
When your advice is needed,we shall ask and when you 'over-advice',w
Getting married doesn't have an age bar.
Oyinbo sef dey marry at 50.Face your work and face your front!
N.B,keep the unsolicited sympathies and advice;nobody died!!!
Thank you very much"
G.S Agbaosi,(c),201
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