There are no surefire rules to making a relationship work . However, there are five foibles that can all but ensure your partnership bites the dust. The following relationship killers should be avoided at all costs – and if they do arise, they must be dealt with ASAP, otherwise the consequences will be lasting… and lethal.
1. DISRESPECT.
Sure, it’s normal to be frustrated and even occasionally angry with your mate. However, if you don’t know how to communicate clearly and kindly, but rather fall victim to the old traps of name calling and threats, your pairing is in perilous condition. Rather than giving into the impulse to yell or insult your partner, work on expressing your feelings in a calm, concise manner without interrupting. Showing each other respect verbally will help you work through conflict without killing each other – or your relationship.
2. RESENTMENTS.
Issues are bound to arise in any relationship. However, if you always keep your problems to yourself (from being irritated by your partner’s messiness to feeling as if they’re paying too much attention to work or friends and not enough to you), you’re not keeping the peace or avoiding conflict, you’re allowing a wound to fester. This leads to built up resentment that will find a way out – in your tone, in your passing comments or in your actions. If something is bothering you, bring it up and talk it out so you can let it go and move forward with an open heart and clean conscience.
3. MONEY.
It’s not just currency, it’s energy. And we all have different ways of dealing with it. If you and your partner haven’t already, sit down and talk about how you each view and value money and what your goals are. If you have any discrepancies or concerns, voice them and come up with a plan to compromise. Otherwise, you’re bound to find yourselves at odds at some point – with no guidelines for resolution.
“Reasons money causes anxiety for both men and women include elements of control as well as issues with self worth, which is reflected in a sense of not feeling deserving, worthy, or lacking thereof.”
4. BOREDOM.
Naturally things get tired over time. However, if your romantic life goes to sleep for too long – or, heaven forbid, dies altogether – you can consider your relationship as good as dead too. People need variety to spice up their lives. And if you find yourselves sitting on the couch night after night with little of interest to share, eventually one of you is going to get up and both of you are bound to give up. Foster individual lives so that you each have something to bring to the table – then make sure to get out and have new experiences together, lest the doldrums take over and you wind up dealing with the ultimate relationship killer:
5. INFIDELITY.
It’s easy to understand why people cheat. But it’s still hard to get over. Broken trust is broken trust and repairing a bond that has been shaken can take a very long time. Better to address the problems that lead a person to be unfaithful before it happens – and avoid this pitfall altogether.
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